Page 29 - Msingi Afrika Magazine Issue 18

Health & Healing

and see my brothers and sisters….
his mom came to the house and tried
to talk them [my parents] out of
the abortion, but they wouldn’t listen
to her…my mother kept telling me I
had cost them $800.

Considering that most adult women
report that at least some pressure
to abort, it is likely that minors
are even more often subjected to
pressure. Indeed, studies have found
that around 8% of girls who told
their parents about the pregnancy, can be difficult and damaging to the desire can lead to emotional insecu-
and 18% whose parents found out parent-child relationship. The secre- rity, breakdowns in trust, and fear.
themselves, were outright forced to cy entails feelings that the girl can’t
have an abortion against their will. trust her parents, and can lead to Research has shown that children
lasting feelings of guilt and shame. struggle when a sibling is aborted
For many of these girls, the proce- for genetic reasons. When they
dure may temporarily preserve what Relationships with Other Chil- are partially or fully aware of what
relationship they have with their dren happened, they tend to be saddened
parents, whether positive or nega- The relationships that suffer the and disappointed and struggle with
tive. Ultimately, however, abortion is most from a woman’s decision to guilt. Some children describe the
likely to have severe negative conse- abort are perhaps her relationships abortion as the worst thing that
quences for the girl’s mental health with her other children. ever happened to them. Even when
and for her bond with her parents. the children are not aware of the
Children’s Emotional Reactions abortion, family dynamics still may
Abortion already carries grave men- to Abortion change.
tal health consequences for many For children, abortion is inherent-
women. When girls are pressured ly difficult to cope with, whether Children may also feel that abor-
to abort, they also experience a it happened before or after they tions were performed because of
major betrayal of trust. The coer- were born. Young children gen- them, or even to punish them. They
cion violates the woman’s confi- erally struggle to distinguish their can internalize the termination,
dence in those whom she relies on understanding of an unborn child feeling mutilated by what happened.
most, which can create feelings of from a child already born. Since the Other children can experience so
resentment and anger. Threats of distinction between the two is more much fear of being killed, whether
abandonment or ostracism of the of a social construct than a concrete consciously or subconsciously, that
woman also destroy her belief that difference, abortion is difficult for they can developmentally withdraw
she can depend on her parents for children to understand. and regress. In some of these cases,
care. the parents did not even realize that
When a sibling has been eliminat- their child knew about the abortion.
Girls whose parents are involved ed from the family, children may
in an abortion are often made to struggle to rationalize the loss. Studies have also shown that chil-
feel that their actions have creat- Knowing that they were wanted, but dren with aborted siblings struggle
ed nothing but problems for the that a sibling was not, can lead to with the feeling that they don’t
parent. The parent’s pushing for an guilt and uncertainty. Children can deserve to be alive. They tend to
abortion teaches her that she is not fear that their wantedness could be experience increased anxiety and an
mature enough to take responsibility withdrawn and even perceive their impending sense of doom, often
for her own actions, or that she is parents as murderers. Children also facing depression and psychiatric
a problem herself. For girls whose may struggle with feelings of hostil- hospitalization. These effects stand
parents are not involved in the abor- ity that they cannot express because in stark contrast to the fact that even
tion decision, hiding the abortion of their desire to stay wanted. This children with miscarried siblings feel

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