Page 64 - Msingi Afrika Magazine Issue 17

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athlete was also murdered by her families are dealing with more love but eats hate
boyfriend. strains more than before. If you ask me, I will say the word
Then there is this unusual case of a But, even as I try not to be lopsided “LOVE” has become the most used
woman that was raped on a Penn- in my approach to this topic, I will word in our society. Couples use it
sylvania train in the US, while the ask a sincere question. Should part- as often as possible between them-
rest of the car reportedly looked on, ners in a marriage or relationship selves, families talk about it with all
without doing anything to help. In not think it wise to at least separate strength, singers, artists use it like it’s
fact, it is reported that some of the for a while when it becomes clear the only life line for their arts, but,
passengers were actually pointing that the relationship is getting to- obviously, the usage of the word
their phones towards the scene of wards the point of bringing weap- pales at the mindless acts of hate
the evil act, suggesting that they ons of death to the bedroom? and violence that erupt when the
were filming it, but none of them true meaning of love is put to the
stood up to help. How is that even Something is definitely wrong test.
possible? You may ask. Well, I think with our system of society
we have created and nurtured a But is it not unusual that even in
monster society of self-preserv- I copied an excerpt from a Face- the midst of all these usages of the
ing, selfish humans that are next to book post written by a lady called word love, and the many romantic
zombies. Dr Wandia Njoya. She said: things that happen with its us-
It is ok to take note that the victims “I’ve done my time talking about violence age, that the most wicked acts of
of the first cases that I mentioned against men. violence are done in the name of
are females and more so, athletes I’ve even done a vigil. love and for love? Or could it be
and then think maybe there is some- At no point did any woman ask me why that what we call love in our society
thing happening with female athletes I’m talking about boys instead of about is not really love, but selfishness
in Kenya, but how do you explain girls. and a controlling spirit disguised as
the rape on the train and the non-ac- I have talked about violence against love? That could really be it. So, the
tion of the people around. That is children, especially in the school system. At question is, how do we deal with this
shameful. no point has anyone asked me “what about evil? Amongst many answers to this
Here is what I think about domes- the teachers?” question, one that stands out, and
tic violence in particular. For there Because when it comes to loss of life, it’s which can really deal with the issue
to be a situation in which in order a finality. Man, woman or child. Death of domestic violence trans-genera-
to settle relationship or marriage through intimate murder, by people who tionally is that, we must go back to
differences, someone must die, then are supposed to care for or protect you, the root of the society, which is the
we need definitely have crossed the amounts to the same thing. family system.
red line of reason. It is not normal So heck, you have nothing on me when I Every violent man or woman we
and should not be treated as such. say that homes are dangerous especially for have today, was once an innocent
Meaning that this issue of domestic women. And they are made more danger- child born by humans and raised in
violence is no longer just a case of ous by this determination that we should some form of family or home.
police doing their jobs to find the not name it when they are killed. Because Meaning that when we begin to
killers or offenders, which is a great when we minimize deaths of women with raise godly and selfless children who
thing for the sake of justice, but we whataboutism, we are telling other men understand the heart of Ubuntu and
need to seriously go deeper to see “kill women again, it’s okay. Society will how it is the bedrock of the society,
and understand why these incidents defend you.” then we will be sending into the
are happening in the first place. Like And yes, I have said the same thing about future, selfless and compassionate
Reverend Desmond Tutu said, and other forms of violence. And when young men and women who are noble in
I quote, “We need to stop pulling people men are killed, especially by the police, their thoughts and humane in their
out of the river. We need to go upstream there’s also an army of bots to give us the actions. This approach may not
and find out why they are falling in.” same whataboutisms about the police. They readily tackle the already broken
tell us “don’t condemn all police officers” men and women we have right now,
It’s true things are hard for many when what we’re talking about is systems, but it will set the tone for a better
families, communities and even the social attitudes and trends, not about societal system going forward. For
global space. Life has not been at individuals. it is better and easier to make and
ease of late and coupled with the mold good-hearted children, than it
madness of the pandemic, more A societal system that speaks is to repair broken men and women.

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