Page 13 - Msingi Afrika Magazine Issue 3

ISSUE THREE | NOV/DEC

it.” I had to learn very quickly how these hemorrhoids removed. And that supposed to be where You
to deal with a newborn, premature I couldn’t sit for six to eight weeks are?” I left after three weeks. I
baby. At that time there wasn’t after that. I don’t have words I can couldn’t even be introduced to the
much in terms of support, both use to express the kind of pain church. The Spirit of God was like,
from the hospital and also within that I had. There’d be times that I “You need to leave and you need
the community; people just didn’t would be so delirious with pain that to leave now.” And so, I was put
know how. That’s one of the I would find myself speaking out in a situation where I had to obey,
reasons why I do what I do today. and I was talking to God in Kikuyu in an environment where no one
For four months, I did not leave and saying, “I can’t die, I have a agreed with me.
the house I just poured myself baby to take care of. Just help me
into this baby and was taking care get through this pain. I don’t know
of her. And after a long while her how but I can’t give up.” “
weight picked up, she surpassed I had gone through surgery so I
her milestones and she was good. had a tickly cough, and I couldn’t I have come to
And then when she was maybe cough because I had stitches here understand that
nine months or just about a year (points to her abdomen) I had
old, endometriosis came back stitches this way (points to her my purpose in life

with a vengeance. I remember rear). Again I kept asking God, is transformation,
going to seek a second opinion “Why? I just want to be a mom like
and the doctor looked at me everyone else; does it have to be but I guess I couldn’t
be used at all until
and said, ‘what you have is an this hard? What did I do? Tell me;
aggressive form of endometriosis show me so that I stop doing it.” I I went through
and it’s back. Just thank God for had to go through a very shameful
the child that you have because time. I’m a post natal mom, I’m still my own personal
with this kind, I highly doubt that bleeding and I have to be cleaned transformation.
you’re going to have another from the front and I have to be
baby.’ I went back for surgery and cleaned from the back and I have
they found that I was bleeding in stitches, and I had to be cleaned by There was a period in my marriage,
my pelvis. I was discharged on whoever was available. I was now where my husband would spend a
the same medication as the one 34 going on 35. I kept thinking, let lot of time away from the house,
I had been put on the first time, me just get through this and then away from me. I was carrying a
and I remember looking at it and I’ll be okay. lot of anger from before and after
thinking, ‘My name is not Wairimu God consistently broke me in a while I realized that we were
if I’m going to be on that stuff. I places and ways that I couldn’t just not connecting. We both shut
can’t do this anymore,’ and I just understand then. By that time I down and we ended up separating
said no. That was in November could feel that there were issues in 2011. I think all that anger and
2007. January 2008, I conceived. in my marriage, but he was very bitterness and resentment had to
My doctor was like, ‘can I call supportive during that time. He find a way out. I ended up in an
some women so that you can talk cared for me like a sick child. It extra-marital affair and I knew
to them and tell them what it is that must have taken a lot for him to the minute it happened, that it
you do?’ care in that way. shouldn’t have happened. And
Sifa (meaning Praise) came in I prayed I said, “God, what do I
2008 October and I went to full Separation, Wilderness do?” He said, “Tell your husband.”
term with her, she was a healthy I worked for the government as And I did. Regardless of what else
baby. I had a difficult time with my a Pharmacist and then I worked was happening and like any other
pregnancy though. With Neema for a faith based organization as adulterous woman, I was asked to
I was put on bed rest from 24 a program manager and in 2011, leave. And I left. I left my children
weeks, all the way until I had the I just felt God calling me. I was as well, because ‘what kind of a
baby. With Sifa I had very painful going to be a Pastor. I went to my mother would I be to them?’ Or so
hemorrhoids, but they couldn’t do husband and he said ‘Yeah, sure I was told. ‘What example would
anything about them, because I give you my blessing, you can I give them as a woman?’ I went
I was expecting. I was on bed leave work and go and do this back to my parents’ home and I
rest from August until she came leadership course in a church.’ So didn’t know where to start, I just
in October. So there’s always a I went and three weeks into the knew that I only could think of one
period of rest and then the baby. course, the Spirit is like, “Will you day at a time.
A week after Sifa was born I was trust me to show you where I am?” 2012 – 2015 was a walk of utter
separated from her because I And I’m like, “What do you mean pain. Have you ever felt lost? Like
had to go back to theater to have where You are? I’m in church, isn’t God has given you His word and

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