Page 68 - Msingi Afrika Magazine Issue 1

ISSUE ONE | JULY/AUG

I am just

SAYING

Frank talk about the little things we do in Africa
Chioma Phillips that undermines love, unity and brotherhood.
“If you talk nicely, we can see how to
help you.”
“The problem with you is you refused It wants its victims to play along or
to talk nicely... so it looks like you else it turns mean and ugly. It rears
don’t really want to be helped.” its head in dowry negotiations and It slips and slides around in
“I thought you were the best one for police stations...it slithers down administrative cracks in the
the job, but the way you’re acting, from church pulpits and sneaks government and along social lines
I just wonder... or do you want me into boardrooms and family living - rich and poor, urban and rural.
to choose someone else instead of rooms. Often times, it shows itself Like a deadly viper hiding, perfectly
you?” as some form of money changing camouflaged between the rocks,
“Are you trying to tell me how to do my hands handshake. It is present in job it pretends not to exist. It is purely
job?! If that’s the case then you can interviews and negotiations and truly narcissistic in nature and places all
find someone else to do this for you.” the blame for its manifestation on its
effective when it faces off against victims, even as it slips its serpentine
those with less power than itself.
I think I have heard these statements Its ultimate endgame is to get its coils around unsuspecting necks,
in varying forms and contexts all my own way by crushing all opposition limbs and torsos, ready to crush any
life. I have seen them used against using nuance and subtlety... and and all opposition that it meets along
me or my family or my country. They where that fails - outright threats its way.
are statements that deny approval, and intimidation. I suspect it gained
acceptance, access, praise and increasing ground during colonialism It comes up in ‘harmless’ seeming
favour, unless one complies with the when new methods were introduced ways, encourages one to participate
‘request’ or ‘offer’ that’s on the table. I to manipulate and oppress... but it in an activity that will ensure that
grew up being taught not to resist the has always been around. For as long harm will not come their way - even
flow of this pressure, but that instead as the serpent has been manipulating an invitation to a family dinner can
one should ‘not make trouble’, ‘not man into doing its bidding. have such layered context that one
annoy such and such’, ‘not go against could play right into the hands of
the grain’. In short, roll over and take Its language is fear and intimidation the manipulative spirit behind “just
it. Because the price to be paid was couched in pretense and smiles... all talk nicely” which this time may be
deemed to be ‘too high’. Depending on the while ready to do and about face dressed up as “don’t upset mommy
how desperate you are for a solution and let the world know that you are the or daddy, you know they’ve not been
or to fit in or to be accepted, you could one with the issue, should one arise... well” or “you know they’re old, we just
find yourself lowering your standards if only you would “Just talk nicely”. have to do these things to make them
and giving in to this pressure. Because happy.”
there is a price.
It’s tragic. Because “Just talk nicely” It’s a global problem. It’s a spiritual
makes the statement that one is
“Just talk nicely.” I’ve heard it from never going to get the product or issue. Africa must do everything in
suppliers, from government officials, service that they are actually paying her power to fight off this spirit or else
from friends and family and from the for, merely on the merits of the terms face the real possibility of not rising to
pulpit. “Just talk nicely” is a cultural agreed upon. The one performing the her true place of purpose.
declaration that contains within it the ‘service’ will never actually strive to
demand for complicity in mediocrity achieve something genuinely great, And its time to start correcting the
and apathy. “Just talk nicely” creates and has made a broad declaration various ills in our society.
the environment that foments with their lives that they have opted
corruption. It contains within it the for failure and no other standard will
request “don’t tell on me”, “let’s agree do. The most wicked thing is that they
to do this and you’ll benefit somehow”, are trying to take you down with them
“let’s just eat together, after all it’s our if only you would “just talk nicely”.
turn”. And if one refuses, it brings Please share your “I am just saying”
with it the promise of some form of It’s as insidious as it is ubiquitous. experience with us for publishing.
destruction. It will not go well with Not too well hidden, and deeply Use:
you from the side of the one who is entrenched. wehearyou@msingiafrikamagazine.com
deemed to have the power.
68 HEALING - RESTORING - REBIRTHING - AFRICA