Page 40 - Surrender - Don't Just Live

Surrender

cerned, we had planned to wait two years into our marriage. This was
six months in. Yeah! We like to believe that we are the ones who decide
when “we are ready”. But I say to you, nothing about this process is
automatic! It is only By God and For God!

Little did we know that at the time of this diagnosis, I was pregnant.
Why it did not appear in the scan during the diagnosis still amazes me
to date. The first 16 weeks she put me on Duphaston (“Progesterone
hormone to sustain the pregnancy until the placenta formed,” she said).
And for this entire period, we were told we could not enjoy coitus!!!
We did not adhere to this fully though, but fear was real whenever we
‘disobeyed’. My husband would talk to Zara and tell her to stay put
regardless of what she felt. She has always been very keen to obey her
father’s instructions. So much so that even though she had started her
journey out on the night before her EDD, he told her,” Zara, I am too
sleepy to be there for you and mummy today. Let us all sleep and do this
tomorrow.” And for sure, the contractions stopped.

At 18 weeks, I had to be put on Ventolin and bedrest because I had
started having contractions. The entire pregnancy we simply had to de-
pend on God for the survival and health of our baby. Her birth was
another miracle. For a little over 12 hours and at 7-8cm dilation, after
going through “ma-things” as I like to call them because I get contrac-
tions without labour pains (Daddy and I agreed on this because He said
Jesus gave us freedom and I do not have to continue living under any
curse), I was led to the delivery room and for four hours my amazing
God-sent OB/GYN and the team of nurses worked tirelessly to bring
forth this child that was equally determined to be born.

During the pregnancy, Daddy laid it upon our hearts to pray for her
heartbeat and a fighting spirit. This was confirmed through one of the
voices He had brought into our lives: our Super Dear Mama, Rose. This

26