Page 47 - Surrender - Don't Just Live

the reset

and asked me to take more water then be back after I submit the HB
test results.
Fifteen minutes later I was back with a ticking bladder ready to explode!
We went in and again… silence. This time I started asking him the ques-
tions. “What do you see?” He was still quiet. He started making me ner-
vous and angry. I felt he was condescending. “Just talk to me. I under-
stand medical jargon more than you would think. Is my endometrium
gravid?” He looked at me and said, “Yes. And the thickness shows you
should be about five weeks pregnant. But I cannot see anything in the
uterus! When did you take the test?” “Last week on Wednesday night
and then again on Thursday morning. Both were positive.”

He asked me to go and take another test just to confirm the HCG lev-
els. The test was positive again. And so he started the scan again. I asked
him if my fallopian tubes were okay and he told me that is in fact what
he was checking. He pressed on my left fallopian tube and asked me if I
had any pain there. I told him, yes, but more so when he pressed it like
he had just done.
He looked at me and said, “… then, unfortunately, I believe that is
where the pregnancy is.” Immediately I asked, “How old is it? And is
there a heartbeat?” In my heart I knew for as long as the baby was alive
then there was hope. I would be praying for one miracle, not two!
He checked and showed me a heartbeat! I was ecstatic, and he was
wondering whether I truly understood what he was trying very hard not
to say. I asked him, “What is the latest the baby can swim down and be
implanted in the uterus?” He said, “That should have happened by now.
From what I see here, you need to talk to your doctor immediately.” It
was clear that things were not good. And so I broke down and asked to
be excused for a while.

First, I called my husband, whom I had left at home to babysit Zara and
Huru. He had not spoken to me for the entire week after he had learnt

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